Haix,, so fast. now cny ler.. sian oso. well, many things happen thruout. soon i'll be workin ler, life's kinda bored too. do nth always, keep go slack and slack and slack. really so bored. these few daes, i always go home so late. probably i feel bored @ home? no idea. perhaps i enjoyed the company of my frens..

well, nowadays so many get married @ such young age. erm,, sumtimes m jus so envious of them. i mean, they can be so loving.. and u know they get married and start a family that kinda thing. I wan too,, but i gave HIM up. i'm wondering. am i stupid or wart.. there's this sumbody whom love me so much, more than i love him? yet i gave him up. sumtimes thinking back, i did love him so much b4. but when i finally wanna give up he "regretted". i thought of starting a family with him. HIM. euu know. he's the first whom i ever said. "let's get married if we can be tgt for 3 yrs" nah it's alrdy e past.. forget it. i know time carn travel back. it's jus a how i wish. how i wish i can travel back. how i wish he can cherish me more in the past.

now i have adrian. but things just go so weird. i neber hab a bf lydat b4. i jux feel weird. i mean @ times we can be like complete strangers. sumtimes we r good. wat is this? it's jux like sum kids playing sum dumb game. seriously i have no idea wat is he thinkin abt. really no idea. we hab no communication.. he dun tell me his stuffs.. and i kept quiet abt mine. it's jux so unlike me. I MEAN,, i love to tell and complain stuffs to my boy. but him? jus weird. SUMTIMES I'M WONDERING, does he love me @ all?

i wanna improve the r/s. but hab no idea how. i really dunnoe how long can this nonsense last. feng wang ask me to be patient with him. well, i'll try of cuz i'll. i jus hope for A LOVELY R/S. i wanna it to be lovely. jus one example. nouvelle and ah y. they look so loving. aw.. i wan that too. pple did say since euu all lydat then might as well break, but i firmly stand strong. i'm assuring myself that things will turn fine.

when can i hab one lovey dovey r/s?? HAIX.

probably, frens r better? @least they r ard euu at times. me got bf like no bf lydat. ARGH!!!!! total nonsense. nvm, i shan't think too much.

HAIX, ii still miss my BB, teddy bear. so much, SO MUCH.

Hmm,, the above photo is the grp foto that we took before thomas left us. well, was so sad ytd. suddenly, a bro of mine is gone again,, 2 yrs? i shed tears and almost ruined my make up. sian~ jus feel upset. went with jos, geok chuan, jia hao and daniel to thomas court session. but too bad we carn go in cuz juvenile court, but nevertheless, it's worthwhile, cuz of thomas.

After everything, me and jos went to look for bing en. acc him go hospital settle sum insurance stuffs and we headed to marina while bing en went home. marina was okie, but i was too tired to jux take one more step. lol. most sickening thing was, when we r on our wae back, three guys keep staring @ us.. they look @ us like they know us sumwhr lydat,, i diao back and sae see wat see,, they jux scold nb and go ler. knn. brainless jiu hu dressing human. anyhow anyhow one.

for the next moment who knows we were in train alrdy. luckily, the train was not packed, i still managed to sleep all the wae. (didn't sleep ytd. :D) Reached home awhile met up with wee kian and the three of us went lot. We were oso boliao enuff la, slack there for one whole evening. kenna disiao here and there. OMG! worst ish, DAVID took my phone and saw "things" , he started to poon here and there, here and there. Everyone's reactions was funny, wondering wat they laffing bout. but nvm. Surprisingly was, watermelon oso knew this thingy. well,, HAIX.

he told me sth. "you r the 2nd gal that i shed tears for. If that's wart euu really wan and think will work. fine! i dun like u le. and i will disappear. sorry. bye. tc. pls." ---> i told him to tell that he dun like me anymore. It's torturous to continouslly allowin him to give me HOPES! Jus TORTUROUS. maybe it shd neber happen in the first place. all came @ the wrong time. HAIx,

I'm wondering, if i ever see him again, wat'll i do? act normal or avoid? DAMN.






[I LOVE my dearest "teddy bear".]

Used to be calm, used to be cool. But something about you changed all the rules. I kept to myself,I guarded my heart. But that all fell apart. Now just like a fool, I've fallen in love with you, oh I got these crazy feelings all over you. I come undone. I come undone. Every time I'm close to you, I come undone.