after looking thru gary's posts.. i realise i have to buck up and stop being so negative. probably i should get sum motivation books and change my mindset.. it's true that fundamentally it all started with the word "thought". the way u think and perceive affects very much on every thing.. like decisions, ur actions blah blah.. well i dun think i wanna get defeated without even started the battle. it's good to feel confident and victorious. and even we we fail, jus take it the prepartory work that is required for the final battle.

but one thing is.. factually this world is corrupted be it anything. no pt deceiving oneself that the world is still beautiful with untained ppl ard.. thus, i supposed it might be rather hard to maintain a positive outlook with a tained society we r living in. still, gotta try. stay strong in a rubbish heap, u will appear more defined and successful. ha. nvrtheless, i posted sth below for all peeps.. cheers!

................................................................

You Are Special

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.”

He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, “Who still wants it?” Still the hands were up in the air. “Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.
“Now who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air.

“My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we are in ourselves, but in WHOSE WE ARE!”

You are special. Have a great day!

things r still the same. almost every weekend i will detest. cuz i hate the feeling that i got nth to do. nth to occupy me upon. ytd sb called me and asked me abt my birth date.. she got a very cool application that will depict the character and ur "life".. it sounds so true.. but there one part that i felt upset upon... it says my love comes and goes very quickly.. is that true? nt sure, uncertain. probably...

life has come thus far, but to me it's still so stagnant and uncomplete. with in dept thoughts, i felt as if i am lost in a maze, finding the remaining piece of puzzle. things r strange always, they always happen unexpectedly and unwantedly. perhaps, sumtimes we think too highly of ourselves.. thinking that we can tk control of the situation.. but very often, it's the opposite. sumtimes i'm wondering, it's us hu control our lives or our lives control us? hmmmm....

it has been sumtimes, finally i dropped tears again. was weeping so hard. releasing those inner traumas? dunnoe. y carn fairytales last longer.. @ least i can stay longer in the virtual wrld. i dun wanna be in the reality, cuz it's often cruel n heartbroken...

i'm trying hard to keep my cool.. to compromise.. and i shall keep all those emotional stirs to myself.. times & times.. it's lydat.. i'm sick of everything. jus carn get things rite.... i'm sorry.. so sorry.


[所有的诺言在出口的那瞬间绝对是真的，但是诺言是有生命的，终会在时间的侵蚀下渐渐地风化死亡。 - annoymous] promises r meant to be broken.


the first story is really touching, probably if u guys free can go see see...
http://www.imeem.com/groups/by_GwY3a/blogs/category/Otbj1OGP/

yo pple. sian man.. now @ town.. starbucks.. well well, heng i got bring my laptop with me.. @ leaat wun feel so bored. eandy and jimmy chatting while here i am blogging. hmmm. .. well well well, waiting for bei and sb to get ready then when they set off to bq then me and jimmy will go down too.. sian... bf finish work ler, but he heading hm. carn see him often but nvm can uds. ha i told him next time i wun wannna make time for him. push my time to accomodate him liao.. he shall do it. sad de lor.. haha..

saw pakelo de msg in frenster.. he ask me call him got sth to ask me.. then when i called him he carn rmb wat thing.. dots.. say wat regarding a guy de.. dunnoe wat la.. anywae he steady with minmin.. wow fast game fast action lei him. but one thing is he's yandao la.. of cuz can change here and there..

k.. shall stop here ler.. bye peeps.

hais. sad sad sad,, things always change. now i uds one universal truth, things are nvr constant. it's never easy to manage on r/s regardless of whether it is bgr, business contacts, frens or watsoever. it's tired to put on a frenly mask every now and then. i have s0 many pple to entertain.. pple are realistic, once u actually ignore them they will jus leave ur social circle. it's hard to entertain every one of them and maintain a good book with them.

my director is right, for initial acquaintance, there's motive to knowing eachother. @ times, they wanna get sth out of u, be it advantages or watsoever. but no choice, when u r in sales line u have to be open with almost all.. cux u nvr know when u they actually require ur service and give sales to u. sian.

humans r selfish - leading to their uncontentment - leading to unsatisfactory - leading to unconstanty - leading to failures. in short, humans r failures in general. life sark.

[i waana a person. sumone whu can share things with. sumone whom i can rely on. sumone whom can give me emotional comfort. that's all. simple. but nvrtheless, i love my bf. ]

boring boring boring. sat so boring. actually meeting jon @ 5 de. but. cuz i wanna do sth that's y change to 8 plus.. well ytd was a fruitful nite though, thanks eandy for everything, sumhow he managed to bring my unhappiness and pek chek-ness into a relax and stale state. ytd was a horrible day, do wat oso buay shun.. fking pissed off. lols.

of cuz, after our east coast trip, i went to town meet jos, sb and bf. we went to watch show. "mirrors". gruesome i wld say, overall rating prob 3.5 lor.. not very nice la, but there's still this tiny wheeny twist @ the end, which sumhow resembles a show's ending too.. carn rmb wat show it was. but anywae ytd's outing was rather interesting, though didn't get to go mansion. well well prob i shall go tonite. LOL. i suddenly jus have this urge to drink alot alot. mental stress.

i miss bf.

in office now. in the morning was so busy...

felt happy, cuz now i got sumone in mind ler. he's sumone hu has got the calibre, the positive attitude and best of all sumone whom has bright thoughts for his future... i admire pple with ambitions. though for career wise he is still in the initial phase of striving but i believe with a substantial amt of effort and perserverance put in he will succeed.

ilu, bf.

hmm... sunday again ler.. hais.. boring no wher to go.. well well.. so sian.. on the phone with roy now, the yandao kia. lols..

signs. i dunno if i still fancy him not.. occasionally will still think of him. but.. i'm trying to refrain myself frm thinking ler.. hope those days of missing him will be over soon. sad.

i hate the time whenever i'm @ hm for one whole long day, i'll surely think of things.. i prefer myself to be totally occupied. i love the time when i'm so busy that i dun have time to think of him and those lil bits of memory here and there. i dun wan and i dun like. yucks.

when can i have another one whom i like again? i jus wanna replace him.

萧敬腾 - 原谅我
作词：阿沁(FIR)&陈天佑&吴易纬
作曲：阿沁(FIR)
专辑：同名专辑

请不要分了以後还记得 亲吻过的承诺
你的永久 已不属於我
默默低头 那时我 很多话梗在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐不是我 爱太多想太多
我能感受 他比我适合
爱放了手 我伪装冷漠 比你先说分手

请原谅我 原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口 好让你离开我
请原谅我 好想自私将你占有
一个寂寞就给我承受 换你过更好的生活

请不要分了以後还记得 亲吻过的承诺
你的永久 已不属於我
默默低头 那时我 很多话梗在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐不是我 爱太多想太多
我能感受 他比我适合
爱放了手 我伪装冷漠 比你先说分手

请原谅我 原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口 好让你离开我
请原谅我 好想自私将你占有
一个寂寞就给我承受 换你过更好的生活

爱过恨过哭过也笑过
亲吻过你的脆弱
其实我比谁都要懦弱

原谅我 必须假装爱错
别让时间倒流 我怕说不出口
原谅我 没有解释太多心痛
别无所求彻底忘了我 爱原来要舍得
我 难过
我 才懂

hmm... sunday liao. time passed so fast... lols. well, today then i realised he actually got a gf all along. summore is my dasao de sis. knn. lols. but nvm la.. though still nian nian bu wang but, i think it's better to let go lor. but.. butt... prob is he doesn't wanna make clear. i oso dunno wat to do. @ least say sth to draw a line bah. hmmm,, maybe i really think too much ler ba. wat not urs wun be urs ever. as long as u happy, i m too. (:

however, sumhow i'm happy that he did tok to me today. perhaps i think things might be better this way.. i shall forget. forget and forget. lol.

hais. i'm wondering sumtimes y u dun like de pple keep come to you and the ppl u like keep go away.. sibei sian. but i like dui bu qi those ppl. they msg or call me i dun give a damn @ all.. and the more they call or msg the more irritating they r to me.. wat the. hope they can jus siam and leave me alone. well well,,,,,, i wanna eat sakura!!! lols.

i love my sisters and bros. bleahs. nite peeps.

so freaking tired. imagine now eleven pm le.. i still in the office.. jus now got meetin.. then now waiting for cavin to come over fetch me for my dinner. so hungry. damn it. office like bo lang liao.. ahha all went home. was really busy man. tml still got product launch @ velvet. damn it. then fri have the dunno wat company nite thingy. wat the... so so busy.

well well.. but it's good oso i think. work almost occupy 3/4 of my day. but nvrtheles, i rather enjoy the process though shag. anywae... sian.

hmmmm... i needa get so many things done man.. helll!!!! gonna go rebond my hair soon. tee hee.. happy. anywae, hope time fly faster, hope i can suceed in my dieting too. very fat liao lor.. but then in company whole dae, no eat will die. no energy to work.. hahahahah hey frens intro me sum corporate deals to sell those it products lei!!!!! i wan business coming in~~~~~~

anywae i dun miss him so much liao. perhaps it's a good thing too. yawns. tired. gonna fag out myself sooner or ltr. ;p bye peeps. tk tons of care.

有些事情是没有对错之分的；
有些选择是永远不知道正确与否的，
分辨对错毫无意义。
对就要对到底，
错也要错下去。
无论是给你开心还是给你伤痛的人,
又或者兼而有之，
你都要感谢他，
至少他让你在某段时间里并不空白。

though i keep teling myself that i hate u, tell myself that u sark, tell myself not to miss u, but whenever i'm alone or not busy, sumhow my mind will be filled with u n those sweet moments that we shared. u mayb sumbody with flaws, but my eyes r blinded by them. i can only visualise ur adorable image, ur tiny wheeny sweetie actions.. but sad to say, we aren't even frens alrdy and as for u, i reckon u dun even care a hoot abt me. perhaps, i'm jus another gal in ur life..

tired. really am tired. jus wanna drown myself with work and work and more work. now i realised, only working can make me feel happier and wouldn't think that much. it's the only way to let u out of my mind and slowly forget u. do tc of urself, if u happened to read my blog. once and again, if time could reverse, i would rather stay in the past and not come back. i miss the time when u were so sweet..