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Written on Thursday, October 30, 2008 / 9:35 PM

i realised a few days can change alot of stuffs.. things come and go, unexpectedly. i choose to let go and cherish wat's @ the present that is given to me.. wat's not urs will never be meant to be urs, so why go fret about unnecessary problems..

i'm satisfied with my current life. though stressed and busy @ times, but things are still going fine for me. now i reaslised sth, it's good to be loved rather than u go spent tons of effort building on sth which may in the end fail.. :)

jus open ur heart and look beyond things, life may be better.

[chan rak khoon, yaa yee..]
ฉันคุณยาหยี

Written on Tuesday, October 28, 2008 / 9:41 PM

周杰伦-说好的幸福呢 词:方文山 曲:周杰伦

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了走了爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

Written on / 1:55 AM

Goodbye - miley cyrus

I can honestly say
You've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember those simple things
I remember 'till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget
is goodbye

I woke up this morning
And played our song
And through my tears I sang along
I picked up the phone and then
Put it down
Cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember those simple things
I remember 'till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget

Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up
With your ring tone
I hesitate but answer it anyway
You sound so alone
And I'm surprised to hear you say

You remember when we kissed
you still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
You remember those simple things
We talked 'till he cried
You said that your biggest regret
The one thing you wish I'd forget
saying goodbye

Saying goodbye
Oh, Goodbye

[izit jus a song or does it hold any other meaning....
i jus wanna know, cuz it still meant sth to me..]

Written on Saturday, October 25, 2008 / 8:56 PM

listening to this song, it reminds me of the past.. those times were beautiful. we had fun tgt.. we had our loving past.. but those were only memories.. things wun be the same even if events were run in sequel like in the past. ha.. we can only imagine imagine and imagine upon memories... hmmm... if i have the chance i wld travel back 1 yr 8 mths ago and stayed there... though that was the most terrible period of my life yet, it's the most heart warming one.. this song "you were my everything", it was from him. he's the one hu asked me to listen to it.. it was him hu brought me all the way downwards in my life. and it was him whom was so truly precious that time... it was heart wrenching.

i missed the virtual him... he used to say i'm like his body organs.. we were so close.. our bonding was so intense that nobody gave this feeling b4.. it was so strong.. we used to be able to understand echother well, as if we can read eachother's mind.. but now, nah... probably when that love is gone, this chemistry will too be gone.

like i say. i miss him, i really do, but he's no longer in this physical world anymore.. sumtimes i can see him @ the door, i can feel him frm afar, comforting me... i can feel his existence. if this virtual image can appear once again, i wld give up my everything, even my life, to go with this virtuality existence.... how i wish the existence can be with me 24/7,,,, sounds crazy and scary ar.. but i'm jus crazy over this non living existence.. no idea why, probably i'm still living in the past ba.. no idea....

Written on Wednesday, October 22, 2008 / 10:14 PM

You were my everything...

This goes out to someone that was
Once the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize it at the time
I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you so
I don’t really expect you to either
It’s just... I don’t even know
Just listen…

You’re the one that I want, the one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw you, I knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel

That wasn’t me; let me show you the way
I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today
I remember when I first looked into your eyes
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies

I wore a disguise 'cause I didn’t want to get hurt
But I didn’t know I made everything worse
You told me we were crazy in love
But you didn’t care when push came to shove

If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and truly

I guess you forgot about the times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Late nights, just holding you in my arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong

I really wanna show you I really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no one could else know you
You’re number one, always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart

I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you

I knew you gonna sit and play this with your new gal
And then sit and laugh as you’re holding her hand
The thought of that just shatters my heart
It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

At times we was off I was scared to show you
Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you
Without you, everything seems strange
Your name is forever planted in my brain

Damn it, I’m insane,
Take away the pain
Take away the hurt
Baby, we can make it work

What about when you
Looked into my eyes
Told me you loved me
As you would hugged me

I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly, my love is not blind

I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you

I just wish everything could have turned out differently
I had a special feeling about you
I thought maybe you did too
You would understand, but…
No matter what, you’ll always be in my heart
You’ll always be my baby

Our first day, it seemed so magical
I remember all the time that I had with you
Remember when you first came to my house?
You looked like an angel wearing that blouse

We hit it off, I knew it was real
But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel
Reach in your heart, I know I’m still there
I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care

Remember the times? Remember when we kissed?
I didn’t think you would ever do me like this
I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed
I thought you’d be there for me, this I confess

You said you were my best friend, was that a lie?
Now I’m nothing to you, you’re with another gal
I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying
Now on the inside it feels like I’m dying

I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you

And I do miss you
I just thought we were meant to be
I guess now, we’ll never know
The only thing I want is for you to be happy
Whether it be with me, or without me
I just want you to be happy

Written on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 / 10:04 PM

felt like blogging.. so i blogged. but dunnoe wat to blog. having a terrible headache.. dun feel well today, was out whole day then 4 plus back to office. sian. my sales sark.

gonna go slp le.. life's bored. i miss him.

anywae wun be @ west side anymore.. sth is wrong...

tc peeps.

Written on Sunday, October 19, 2008 / 4:51 PM

i uds sth now. in order to protect oneself, u have to be brutal enuff.. i wanna change evrything.. from head to toe. everything. being nice doesn't necessary bring good ending. but being the bad one doesn't mean u wun have a good ending eventually... life is cruel; so does love.

Written on Tuesday, October 14, 2008 / 8:54 PM



zilian.
office look.. cool hur


spotted this car outside maritus mandarin hotel.. cool ar.


my two adorable colleagues! ;D



well well.. long time didn't blog liao.. anyway past weeks happen many unpleasant thingys.. but hope rainbow will appear after a storm bah..

have nth much in mind to blog oso.. things r still goin the same way, it's still lydat.. lol.

hmm.. na gonna divorce with his wife liao.. cuz realise that nigel is not his.. poor thing.. cuz of this then got conflict with family.. i supposed he didn't go home for many many days liao.. well he used to be sumone so so so so so precious.. till now, even we parted for one year plus le, i still carn resist treating him good despite wat he has done in the past.. he jus left a very huge impact in my life.. haah.. but regardless of wat, i hope things will be goin smoothly for him. and i'm glad that he actually will still seek me and tell me wat's goin on ect..

went mansion the night before. drank quite alot.. but was fun. the funny thing was we left bq ard 3 plus, then i reached hm ard 4 plus.. know y cuz kelvin took the wrong route go one big round.. haha.. i love the companion of sis bros and frens.

toking abt bro.. those close to us shd be aware of wat's happening.. felt very sad, tears were brimming my eyes when i learnt abt the news.. felt that it's so unfair and suay.. jus hope everything will be ok for him and that the further test results will be positive and appealing.
no matter wat, we will always be here for u. (:
kor, jia you~!

i think i shd end here le bah.. nth to blog liao. tc peeps.

Written on / 8:19 PM

都是我的错 - 刘嘉亮


不愿意看你在流泪

可我却不能在你身边安慰

多年在外想你的心情

越来越强烈

想你从前依偎在我怀里

想你生气时噘嘴的样子

想你在没有人时

曾偷偷地说着我帅


你一个女人不容易

努力赚钱还要照顾家里

你可知道此刻的我有多么心疼你

每次回到我们生活的城市

你总是用温柔和微笑来掩饰

把全部的苦都自己来背


都是我的错

请你原谅我

为了你受再多的委屈都值得

本想给你我们的未来

可代价却是两地的分离

只能够用思念互相祝福


都是我的错

请你原谅我

为了你我会更加珍惜自己

只要我们的心还在一起

岁月会有无数的奇迹

我爱你

谢谢你



nice song~! listen: http://www.imeem.com/ben2200/music/-VdgWR1S/doushiwodecuo_doushiwodecuo/

Written on Thursday, October 09, 2008 / 10:50 PM

hmmm... today had conversations with my manager and team leader.. was weeping in the office.. wat the.. dunnoe y i lydat.. i tot i was strong always? but probably i only put a brave front everytime, in fact i'm very weak de. ;p but cool.. @ least they knock sum sense into me.. they think i should re-proritize.. which i think it's essential too.. i must set my thoughts right. enjoyment and bgr shdn't come first. instead i shd re-look into my career path and to spend more time with my fam. they r the more impt ones. of cuz, i shdn't have too many night outs and i shd jus stay @ home read novels like motivational ones.. (:

well.. i'm fine liao.. me and gab ok ler.. nth much sparkles, cuz he didn't reveal much intention too.. so probably we will remain good frens ba.. dunnoe. (:

kk gonna slp liao. nites

Written on Wednesday, October 08, 2008 / 11:41 PM

finally everything is over. :'(

i tot we aren't suitable.. though i still feel for him...
it's kinda stupid brooding over it when i was the one spoiling everything.
but.. sumhow or rather i thought we wun last, so maybe jus end it quick before the hurt is penetrated thru more deeply. in fact if he cares more, if he spent more time with me, if he can make me trust and love him more, if he can allow me to feel more of his sincerity.. things wun be happening this way now.

i know he put in effort ler.. but i wanna more. i wan more of his attention.. i love to be pampered. i dun wanna voice out, cuz i'm afraid things might turn sour. i dun wanna be selfish, i carn have him all by myself.. i wanna him to be himself. but.. our time tgt is really so little so little..

i was browsing thru all those msges that he sent. it was so sweet then.. so sweet.. the thought of those "memories" jus made my tears flow down uncontrollably.

his phone was off the whole day. i'm wondering wat happened to him.. jus worried. so worried. dear dear..... wher r u.... :(

life jus get more and more meaningless.. i wanna a simple life. simple frens. simple pple. simple love. simple bf. that's all i wanna.

goodbye, my love. leirbag.

Written on Sunday, October 05, 2008 / 10:59 PM


痛也不说出口的我


一切早开始了

一切却还未辉煌

触摸到手指

不代表敲动他心房

我爬到高山的一半

想要回头怎么办

风撼动我的肩膀

汗揪着我的衣裳


谁愿意失败失败再失败

谁高兴期盼期盼再期盼


我是个痛也不会说出口的人

我是个贪心也注定要不到的人

你恋恋过我

就像花依赖树尖

但风轻轻的吹

时候到幸福却枯萎


我是个爱也不会说清楚的人

我是个懦弱也还在拼拼看的人

火熊熊了眼

别太快灰飞湮灭

荣耀若值钱

我不会掉下泪


痛也不说出口的我

不怕掉下泪

listen: http://www.imeem.com/turtlekrixt/music/jgXZQJmS/yang_pei_an_tong_ye_shuo_bu_chu_kou_de_wo/



Written on / 7:22 PM

yo pple. ytd was a happening nite. lol. drank alot.. total 4 gals we open 2 bottles martel.. cool ar.. then i was drunk half wae thru and slept on the sofa.. lol. xiao ming la... tc de bro.. keep jio drink and drink. one thing is.. he was drunk too.. ha.

thanks to my darling bao you and sidney.. they help me cover shawl when i slping help me adjust here and ther.. so nice of them. muacks. hahah.. then ard 4 plus was awaken by noises. bei and sb quarreling.. misunderstanding.~! well well glad they r ok ler..

after which outside gt fight. they jus anyhow tk chairs throw in the middle of the road.. impact rather big.. all pple went outside and see show... suay suay zhi hao's car came, the police ask them to stop or detour or sth but he guai lan.. then kenna kup back station.. poor thing.

after bq, went 145. qing shun they all tio with 2 malays.. initially nth de cuz own pple.. then qing shun dunnoe do wart fark tk helmet jus seh one of the person's head. fierce fierce. then xiao bee jeffrey jus jiat ji kar beat them.. too impulsive le lor i think... well... ytd was jus full of fightings~~

so tired. didn't slp well.. shag cum sian...

hais.. sumtimes i really dunno wat i wan lor... sian. dun wanna tok much le..

oh ya! i suddenly have this tot. i wan to get married. i wan a hubby. i wan a happy family :)

Written on Saturday, October 04, 2008 / 2:09 PM

boring day.. kelvin asked me wakie call him, so we can go shopping tgt.. but i feel nua.. think ltr then call bah... i wanna shop~! lol...

bf ar bf,, he's mia again. sumtimes i'm wondering y i get a bf for... having a bf now is like having none. we communicate mainly thru sms-ing... it's jus the initial stage and we are lydat... probably next time i'll jus get a sms operator or phone operator be my bf sua.. wad to do.. he doesn't really bother abt gfs las time.. maybe that's wat he is... so wad shd i expect.. probably jus carry on till the day both oso feel it's meaningless to be tgt lor.. but of cuz, @ times he did care thru wrds but.... haiya oso dunno...

hmmm.. well... i guess i'm sumone hu requires much attention probably... or maybe i jus wanna that sense of belonging. i think most gals do ba..

now i jus wanna play a very good gf role.. doin my part and my best for him. @ least when it comes to an end, i know, i have alrdy played my very best role... or perhaps it's time to change my priority. put him in my last priority, so things wun affect me too much ler.. LOL.

actually to think back, i think i grow up alot in rs thingy ler.. i have learnt to respect others' decision.. i have became really less less attitude.. i dun always sae the two words "brk up" liao. i learnt how to tolerate, i have learnt how to think in other ppl's shoe.. i have learnt how to draw a line, i have learn many other things.. but still i haven learn wat's really love.

sumbody told me this "no one is perfect, we have our flaws too but the main thing is to accept the flaws and make it better" --- cool phrase ar.. perhaps have to really work on it.

anywae, enjoy ur weekend peeps~

Written on / 5:00 AM

if only i could slp forever.. it'll be sucha bliss.. feel so lethargic le.. wanna go slp liao.. went bq today saw many pple. well well well... i enjoyed tonite. happy outing.......

Written on Friday, October 03, 2008 / 1:14 AM

Bleeding, sourcing, reaching.
Brutally, i fell with astonishment.
Grief filled my heart, ur grips tore me apart.
Overwhelmed with mist of greyness.
I cried I cried.

----------------------------------------

disappointed. my heart is crying. god save and comfort my within. i need you.
my heart, open up ur eyes. dun let it be blinded with the temporary lust. let it go and move with grace. resist the devil and dance with the angel. one day u will be fine.

u r out.

Written on Thursday, October 02, 2008 / 9:24 PM

Novelty is what you sought.
A leopard never changes its spots.
One day after the other,
When the rain has ceased,
Further and further,
Drifted apart.
No longer, i'm held deep within.
It's not the desiree, but the devil who flaunts.
Gone, you may be.
But rmb,
you will always be etched in my heart.
Forever.

By: elaine & eandy

Written on Wednesday, October 01, 2008 / 4:44 PM

wah very sian ah.. i dunnnoe if i kam gong or wat.. hol stay @ hm.. LOL. pple jio me out i reject.. why lei.. cuz i wan try staying @ hm whole day and see if i got that determination and perserverance to. but abit bth liao. sibei sian. haihaihai. that stupid dear oso dunnoe run where. say reach hm will call me, till now one call oso nvr.. wondering if he's alrite... . . . ... hmm but anywae he's a cute little ass. esp the way he laugh, so cute!!!!! LOL. kk dun wan tok abt him liao, better dun get too smitten by him, ltr he dump me i die. ;p

boring la. hol one day nia. sad lei.. shd extent a few more days... i'm excited. cuz i gonna have my pay ler.. heheh... then can buy things liao. i wanna get the contact lenses.. but firstly have to go check my eyes' degree... if not wear liao will headache.

die liao la.. this week like very busy lei... keep tell those frens of mine, i'll meet them during weekend during weekend.. but how to correspond to all of them. carn possibly divide my days into several segments and share accordingly rite.. hmmm.... forget it shall see how again.

think dun wanna blog liao. gonna go watch dvds that dear dear lent.. to kill my time~~!! damn. i hate to be @ hm. yucks.