x l il. r A i n

2012-01-16T15:00:00.001+08:00

I simply hate everyone

2012-01-11T22:43:00.001+08:00

Boring. Boring. Boring

2011-12-07T23:37:00.001+08:00

Disgustingly disgusting.

2011-11-07T01:13:00.001+08:00

2011-11-07T00:16:00.001+08:00

Well, once again I m stuck with short hair. No choice hair is damaged, so what I could do is to snap it off lol. Some pics for viewing:

2011-06-29T22:25:00.001+08:00

Hmm life hasn't been good nowadays. I m suffering f tremendous stress frm work and the idea of resignning keep popping in my head. James told me that I shd hv an exit plan. I know I wun have sufficient finance to walk over the period when I m jobless.. But I jus dun wanna stay in that kinda situation anymore. Sigh.

-period-

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2011-06-16T16:22:00.001+08:00

Sigh!!! Fking sian

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2011-05-28T01:04:00.001+08:00

Life. Serenity. Universe. God is love.

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2011-05-25T18:57:00.001+08:00

Hmmm things are always expected at the end of the day...

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2011-05-18T02:33:00.001+08:00

Hihihihihi

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2011-04-22T19:40:00.001+08:00

Blog is rusty. So nowadays hu still blog like it's a trend? Prob only the well known fews lor.. Hmmm fri n I m spending it at Hm.. The whole freaking day I m doing nth. Well I shd hv get my bum out of the bed n acc mummy to lv. Zzzz waste time at Hm.. 闷死了啦！！

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2011-03-27T01:17:00.001+08:00

Happy bd to myself :D thks Sis n bro hu came titanium ytd for my birthday. Love u guys <3

2011-03-11T15:41:00.001+08:00

It has been so so bz for me!! F the stupid moto.. My life is he'll cuz of that one line. Gonna go crazy soon..

Well, had a job opportunity anyway. Doin some PA jobbie. Pay wise not that bad but hv to relocate..

Really felt so sick doing the product management role.. Sigh! Backache here pain there pain. Mental strain though.. Enuff of my complains I jus wanna have lots of money n do not do much wrk..

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2011-03-08T22:37:00.001+08:00

Oh no. Wat a beautiful disaster.

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2011-03-05T18:11:00.001+08:00

生命也不过如此。

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2011-02-21T00:16:00.000+08:00

OKAY!! I wan get iphone soon!!!!! Replacement for my past lost phone zzzz

2011-02-13T19:04:00.002+08:00

It's february alrdy, well time really flies. One more month down the road is my bd again, and well, how shd I celebrate it? I think i wld probably give it a miss.

I am still here alive and kicking, it's jus that things change for a better. I have got a career, family and sweet car. Not too much of money, but still substantial enuff. As one grows up, i realise a change in diff perspective. Life becomes dull, boring, at least not as exicting compared to the past. The current me is like a living zombie, chiong for work, go home, work again and home. It's genuinely BORING! lol.

Nevertheless, that's what we survive for. Earn tons of money and spent on ourselves.. zzz. Well, 27 Feb, I am going beijing for a conference. I guess, it will be pretty lonesome over there. A good alternative to get a breather and be alone to think thru things.

I love my current job, almost one year there. But the workload is humongous! Living this kinda "no-life" life really very sian sumtimes. Sigh! No choice though, i dun think i will ge such a good pay if I venture into other career opportunities. ;p

If i am offered to go back to the past or either stay at present, i think i will choose to live in the past but provided that time stop moving frm that moment on. That little thing keeps intriguing my inerself when i see those past blog entries. I wan a fun life la! Happy go lucky. Though poor, but still.... :)

Alrite, stop here for now. Year 2011 huar ar!!! and F those moto pple...

2011-01-24T00:08:00.002+08:00

ok. my blog is rusty. and i jus so happened to know that my blog is still here, alive, though inactive. ha! cny is ard the corner, well, i gonna have my one week of leave. shiok ttm. hopefully, thru this period, i will be able to grab that good rest. :D

2010-11-08T19:44:00.001+08:00

I seriously want waffle ice cream k!!! I will go down Suntec or orchard central one day to have my gelare ice cream!!!!!! Zzzzz

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2010-11-01T00:53:00.004+08:00

你不知道的事

蝴蝶擦几次眼睛再学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星但几颗会落地
我飞行但你坠落之际
很靠近还听见呼吸
对不起我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什么离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像倾盆大雨
碎落满地在心里清晰
你不知道我为什么狠下心
盘旋在你看不见那高空里
多的是你不知道的事

2010-10-31T14:44:00.001+08:00

美麗的死亡之洞。

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2010-10-30T12:57:00.001+08:00

Love is created based on situational efforts. Now then I understand.

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2010-10-25T21:08:00.001+08:00

OKAY. i m gonna post this article again.

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'
In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU .

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU .

Falling in love is easy . It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?'
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when marriages breakdown . People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love .

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always :

'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

__________

Extracted from a forum. Writer unknown.

2010-10-25T20:27:00.002+08:00

i miss those times when we walked to central in the middle of the night.
i miss those times when we will eat tidbits and talked while we walked back hm.
i miss those times when my eyes had only for u.
i miss those times when i tot u were the last and only one.
i miss those times when u hugged me when i cried, reassuring me that u r there.

but why?

i carn seem to find those feelings back again.

Was revamping thru the older posts, the more i thought of it, the more i felt that i shd forsake everything.

I hate this kinda feeling!

2010-10-25T20:02:00.003+08:00

Read somebody's blog just now; sumhow or rather this lady insipires me. I adore her courage, i adore her firmness. Most importantly, I like her style of handling things. It's often sad to see a-used-to-be-so-loving couple break up after a few years. Or do every of the rs happen like that? It seems like, we will never get enough the best of everything.

Pathetic though, life still gotta moves on. I m learning to survive myself, I m learning to be independent, I m learning to be self assured. I jus want to be alone sometimes.

My bad or not, nobody can judge, except for our heavenly father. Oftenly, i didnt want to mention whose fault it is, cuz at the end of the day, pin pointing will lead to more cumbersome troubles. I just want peace. I just want to be freed.

FML. Cannot think of a better phrase to describe further.

2010-10-24T00:36:00.003+08:00

PHOTOS time!!! LOL.

2010-10-21T22:58:00.002+08:00

Life is good, isn't it? I adore life! ;p

2010-10-13T15:06:00.002+08:00

03 Nov is my TP date. Feeling scared and worried, not sure if I can pass... Just hopefully, I can.. then i can buy a car! :)

2010-10-12T12:39:00.001+08:00

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

"Love is the beauty of the soul."

--St. Augustine

2010-09-20T00:20:00.003+08:00

Hi people, it's time to blog again. Well, haven't been doing anything for the whole Sunday. Supposedly to hang out with my gf for a movie, yet in the end, it came to no consensual of where to go.

Checked out xia xue's blog. I guess i admire her attitude more and more, as compared to the irking STEVEN LIM. Let me post a youtube video's of his, condemming xia xue. I wouldn't want to view it again. Just one phrase for him, DISGUSTING SCUM ASS.

2010-09-02T20:56:00.005+08:00

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you

2010-09-01T21:10:00.002+08:00

life has been busy for me. working in ingram is really hectic. like wat was mentioned, there's no work life balance, but i chose to go that way. well, working is a way to occupy myself. time flies when working. days seems to slip by without much notice. perhaps it's the best route to go...

2010-08-28T21:30:00.007+08:00

Sentosa Sentosa Sentosa. I realised i start to enjoy sun bathing.. though it's hot, but wow, the feeling feels healthy and refreshing.

Went Paragon with joanne to buy my usual facial stufs and off to cafe delma to look for her bf. Aftermath, went jurong to look for pigpig to have dinner and max sent me back hm. that's abt all.. good nite peeps.

2010-08-26T18:34:00.002+08:00

I feel pity or maybe sympathetic for some girls. Why get so crazily over a guy when he's having fun outside? Why hurt yourself when he's hugging another one when you are threatening to end your life? Esp when he left and go with others and come back again when he ended the other rs. Women are not rubbish bins.

Human errs, but multiple times? Does he still worth your love? Take it easy women, we can always be independent without guys! Cheers.

I always believe there's karma. What goes around comes around. Unless you r not afraid then well, good for u. :)

-Content is based solely on personal opinions-

2010-08-23T22:53:00.005+08:00

"Never ever let go of my hand." Does this phrase sounds familiar? Too familiar to be true sometimes I guessed.

When a r/s first starts, things always go so beautiful. Human always indulge in those fantasies and thought that it might turn out to be good and well. But nevertheless, promises are meant to be broken. Only naive pple believe in such crap.

"Nvr be sad becuz it's gone, but be happy that it once happened." - Annoymous

2010-08-22T13:38:00.003+08:00

My blog is rusting. Well, just updated the skin for a fresh change. :) Life is still as normal as ever, having all those ups & downs. Sometimes I hope, time will just stop there and nvr move on again.

林峰-爱在记忆中找你(粤)

我对你这一生哪个可比
我与你差一些永远一起
邂逅时间场地似连场好戏
要自何页说起

爱太重深呼吸欠缺空气
爱太美轻轻的却载不起
爱情来到时候似明媚天气
它走了突然骤变雪落雨飞

如果可以恨你全力痛恨你
连遇上亦要躲避
无非想放下你还是挂念你
谁又会及我伤悲

前事最怕有人提起
就算怎么伸尽手臂
我们亦有一些距离

你太远该怎么说对不起
你太近一转身却已高飞
快乐也许太短似场流星雨
一眨眼就如幻觉怕又记起

如果可以恨你全力痛恨你
连遇上亦要躲避
无非想放下你还是挂念你
谁又会及我伤悲

前事最怕有人提起
就算怎么伸尽手臂
我们亦有一些距离

我情愿我狠心憎你
我还在记忆中找你

2010-03-22T00:17:00.001+08:00

few more days to my bd.. let me wish myself, "Happy bd!" :)

2009-12-26T16:49:00.003+08:00

it was a freaking bad xmas.. at that pt of time.. things happen too fast and sudden.. i was like a crazy woman.. the thought of it scares me.. sum pple are just insane. i'm glad that my dear is with me.. w/o him i might not be able to revenge the few punches thrown on myself and frens.. fark those russian pple. wtf they think sg is? dun play play..

i love my dear. he's always there to protect me when bad things arise. :)

hmm.. it's raining for the freaking whole day.. for myself, i'm feeling rather empty. no idea wat happened. plus all those bruises.. omg.

没有任何一个人值得你为他流泪
谈恋爱怎么样都好，就是不要伤心
只要你曾经记得他是喜欢过你
这样就好了!

-quoted from zhong yi.. haha

it's quite true though... well, that's all for now. (: merry belated xmas to all of u.

2009-12-22T03:15:00.002+08:00

so long didn't blog. probably my blog is getting dusty. well well xmas is coming and soon, i'll have to return to work soon. wtf!!! hope 2010 will be a better year for me..

2009-12-02T20:47:00.001+08:00

Bored bored i'm so bored!!!!! who can entertain me~???

2009-11-30T16:28:00.000+08:00

yo pple, i've currently open an online apparel shop. Do support at www.dressbar.co.cc

2009-11-01T22:34:00.001+08:00

bored. fark, fark and fark..

2009-10-30T00:11:00.003+08:00

kyler is one month old~~!! lol

2009-10-19T20:54:00.002+08:00

hmm.. waiting for kyler to wakie and to feed him with milk liao.. at the same time i need to express milk too... boring and tired. luckily confinement gonna end soon. and mon i'm gonna go town to do my hair.. yeappie. dye cum rebond~~~~ yea.. so long didn't touch my hair liao.. freaking more than a year i supposed...

appetite has been poor nowadays.. felt those gastric juice down my tummy but.. jus like not hungry.. how? funny~~!!! but good oso, can slim down quicker ;p

well kyler's full month on 25th oct.. coming sunday! looking forward to it.. :)

2009-10-03T13:10:00.003+08:00

hmm.. now i realised taking care of a baby is not that easy.. both me and dear hardly slept a few hours... have to wakie interval of 2 - 3 hours each time.. shag! lol. hope he will grow up soon...

confinement really sark.. carn wash hair etc.. alot of exceptions... and my episiotomy too.. hope it heals fast. (:

nvrtheless, i love my family.. hubby and baby.

2009-09-29T22:29:00.001+08:00

My lovely kyler. Born on 26 Sep 09. (:

2009-09-21T14:26:00.002+08:00

baby still doesn't wana come out though.. but i'm having quite intense pain. dun even know wat kinda pain is that.. are they contractions? hmmm no idea.. just hope kyler faster come out..

time passes fast.. 9 mths plus have passed.. i thought i have finally learnt the growing up process, but of cuz, there're miles more to go..

i've got to learn more abt responsibilities and tons of those moral ethics etc.. to teach and educate the future generation maybe? well.. thinking of the past, i was wondering, was it really me who did those "funny" things.. haha perhaps so.. which i tot they were really cool actions THEN. but now, think back, those were tons of rubbish thingy that wasted time.

nvertheless, w/o those thingy, i might not be able to learn... just like the world, with black and white.. why? to strike a sense of balance ba.. applicable to humane life too.. there bound to be "upgrade" when it comes to a certain point..

hmmm.. side track alittle.. i'm still wondering, when will kyler be out..... lol :)

2009-09-11T18:43:00.003+08:00

finally... i'm 9 month 1 week preggy.. doc say let kyler be in stomach first.. go natural.. next week, i'll b goin for cervix examination to see the dilation.. hope next week kyler will be out. ;p i'm still quite unconvinced that i might be goin thru episotomy. but most women did went thru' that when delivery.. wat to do.. dun go think abt it!!! lol.

my eyes itch so much.. no idea y.. and yes i'm having my leave liao.. though relax but really bored! i still find it quite good going to work and at least there is interaction among my interesting fellow colleagues~~ and time files much quicker. :P anyway, gonna miss them though.

hmmm........ later i think i better go do some washing.. i haven even pack my maternity bag.. wat a failure.. i'm jus too lazy. damn it.

nov will be heading to thailand. how i wish by that time, i can revert back to my original size.. getting swollen though. lol.

nvtheless, hope my dear will get home early.. the only fascinating thing to do now is to disturb him. it's my only source of entertainment! :D

2009-08-15T21:00:00.004+08:00

woo hoo........ am counting down towards my maternity leave.. 1 month more to go........ and hope baby kyler faster come out.. i'm imagining.. how will he looks like.. hmmmmmmmm.... lol..

nth much to blog oso.. jus hope time flies quicker!!!!

dun u guys think teddy looks cute~~!!!! lol

2009-07-19T22:53:00.001+08:00

teddy with keene~!!

teddy and yy~~ small and big dog. ;p

2009-07-18T18:55:00.006+08:00

sat again. and i am at hm again. felt like going out. but my body doesn't want. :( lol. plan to go lot today.. meet jos and to purchase sum bras.. but.. it seems rather far lei.. and sian.

anyway ytd went watch harry potter.. not so like terrific compared as the previous few episodes.. almost wanna make me slp. but kept my eyes open. cuz i dun wanna waste money watch again!!!! lol. after which, went fullerton hotel for choco buffet.... thick and groovy chocs.. but really make u sick after tasting a few... well. but great experience anywae..

shot by teddy pig @ marina de cinema theatre...

choco buffet..

chcoco foundue~~!!

2009-07-04T22:14:00.006+08:00

如果我變成回憶 - Tank

累了照慣例努力清醒著
也照慣例想妳了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在夢中不聽話的
就停止了

聽著呼吸像浪潮拍動著
越美麗越讓我忐忑
我還能珍惜什麼
如果我連自己的脈搏
都難掌握

如果我變成回憶退出了這場生命
留下妳錯愕哭泣我冰冷身體
擁抱不了妳

想到我讓深愛的妳人海孤獨旅行
我會恨自己如此狠心

如果我變成回憶終於沒那麼幸運
沒機會白著頭髮蹣跚牽著妳
看晚霞落盡
漫長時光總有一天
妳會傷心痊癒
若有人可以讓他陪妳
我不怪妳

快樂什麼時候會結束呢
哪一刻是最後一刻
想把妳緊緊抱著
可知妳是我生命中的
最捨不得

如果我變成回憶退出了這場生命
留下妳錯愕哭泣我冰冷身體
擁抱不了妳

想到我讓深愛的妳人海孤獨旅行
我會恨自己如此狠心

如果我變成回憶終於沒那麼幸運
沒機會白著頭髮蹣跚牽著妳
看晚霞落盡
漫長時光總有一天
妳會傷心痊癒
若有人可以讓他陪妳

如果我變成回憶最怕我太不爭氣
頑固地賴在空氣霸佔妳心裡
每一吋縫隙
連累依然愛我的妳痛苦承受失去
這樣不公平請妳盡力
把我忘記

2009-07-04T20:50:00.002+08:00

yoyoyo, it's sat. and i have been all the way home~!!!!! yucks man.. got no where to go.. how i wish i can be back to the original state.. child bearing isn't easy. lols.

eileen has given birth.. and back hm liao.. congrats to her. that's pretty fast.. her edd is supposed to be 11 sep.. 2 weeks before mine.. now so fast baby come out liao..

my baby still long i think.. end of sep.. though my frens was like saying it's fast.. but i doubt so lei.. for me.. it's like du ri ru nian~~~ Hhahaha.. nevertheless.. life is bored la..

oh ya not forgetting, enci.. happy one month to kayes.. 12 july will be having the one month baby celebration.. but too bad carn go.. but nvm she say she will come for mine.. unless she preggy again!! lol.

and my poor sis jing en kenna swine flu.. hope she does get well.. (:

2009-06-26T15:47:00.002+08:00

bored. it's coming to an end of june liao.. july is coming and i'll be officially 7 mths preggy.. hai.. time pass slowly.. how i wish kyler will be out soon... i need some rest too.. really tired of working. boring boring. and i'm yearning for my end of year trip to thailand/taiwan too...

kinda miss my past life.. hanging out with sisters, and the nightlife activities.. it's really of much fun though boring at times.. but it enables time to pass fast. haaa..

nvertheless, hope kyler faster come out ba... i think he will be a delight for me and cold skin moon cake. (:

2009-06-09T17:36:00.002+08:00

hi yo pple~~ today is tuesday liao.. wishing thursday to come, cuz i'll be having another appt with doc tto see how's kyler is doing.. plus. thurs and fri on leave. shiok no need work. haha i still hate wrking.

hmmm i think i will jus endure for 2 and half months more.. then i can finally tk a long long break~~ yippee..!! hope company will give me that 4 mths maternity leaves. lol. but anyway i think i have grown plumer again. tummy is getting big. fingers might be swollen a little.. realise ring abit tight. hA. bobian. wait till kyler out then go on diet ba..

well.. nth much to blog too ler.. tc peeps...

oh ya last but not least. i love teddy pig. =D grinz*

2009-05-25T13:15:00.001+08:00

taa dang.... as requested by judy tay~~ the photo of my goin to be 6 mths stomach.. haha

2009-05-22T10:01:00.001+08:00

life is so sian man!!! lols. today abit free in office, cuz clear most of my projects liao.. anywae i have named my baby liao.. he will be "kyler Ng". It means 'archer' in dutch, a person hu shoots and refers to getting the right aim at everytime of his life.

klyler is quite big liao, that makes my tummy protrudes out and i look extreme fat.. :( lol. 4 mths more n i wil be able to see him le.. time flies though... hmm...

2009-05-11T19:09:00.002+08:00

so tired. have been working non stop till now. really felt sick and tired of all those junk things to do, esp, u do and do, yet things keep coming in. i needa break!

on the other hand on family issue wise, my hubby is still considerably good to me. but at times he jus carn help to lie and lie. it makes me feel as if.....

the trust is jus not there, sometimes i just feel paranoid. i dunno when will my heart really go dead and empty, refusing to care abt anything anymore. life is stale, still as empty. though happiness do come by now and then.. however... hais. do every guys really lie and lie? i just dun wish history to repeat itself.. i dun wish myself to give up and start to do unfaithful things...

i jus wish that humans can be simpler. more trustworthy, more faithful, thus everything will go nicely. really wish to just have a simple and happy family without asking for more.. but diff pple have diff views/goals in life. it's not possible to amend anything anyway.

he's nice and accomodating. can feel that he cares and loves me.. but dear, can you please dun break the trust b/w us.. i jus felt the trust is drifting further and further.. not that i wan to suspect and not believe u @ times, but ur past lies leave me without choices. sumtimes, i really felt so alone and upset.

2009-05-06T13:40:00.000+08:00

Boring Boring and still Boring. work is really getting on my nerves sumtimes. you really have to see the faces of those farked up pple. Hear them say unnecessary nonsense. felt really sian.

my precious gill is going to be 5 month old, and indeed my tummy is becoming bigger. hmmm, 4 mths plus more to go and gill will be out.. (:

to me life in sg is really kinda boring, hope can travel to other countries. shop play relac. life's good when oversea. i love that feeling, the feeling w/o stress. but of cuz, need money~~!!!! how i wish i'm a millionaire, a tai tai. ahahahah.

meanwhile, i gonna save up tons of money.. prob will jus resign on aug. 4 more mths to endure wrking.. hee.. then i will use my saving to breeze thru the confinement period.. thus, really have to stop spending so much le :(

sleepy now, later still have to head to singtel for meeting. heng only till 4.30pm. afterwhich i gonna escape home. life's a chore working esp when u r a preggy......... damn.

2009-04-22T10:55:00.002+08:00

disappointment disappointment disappointment. i hate pple to lie/hide things frm me. esp, when that person is sumbody really beloved. it really tarnish the trust build previously. I tot he would be a nice husband good hubby, but. guys r always guys. they r like rotten egg, just like dogs who cannot change the habit to eat shit. during the whole damn period, i dun lie @ where i am. but y that person choose to hide and sneak out. and get into unneccessary trouble. y.

to him: GILL HATES YOU, dun make me do things that will disappoint u oso. BIG LIAR!

that's y i say, single is best.

2009-04-01T10:19:00.001+08:00

feeling freaking bored and sleepy again. wth. i really got nth to do.. even surfing of net. i'm sick of it. there isn't much things i can do though. dun uds wat's the purpose of hiring me. but the good thing is i'm paid to come slack ard. on the other hand, it's driving me mad. sumhow or rather.

feel like finding a spot to hide and sleep. but.. wher to find. sian~! how i wish i can jus head hm and nap. really tired. dunnoe y nowdays sleep so early le, morning still felt lethargic. whole body no energy. yark.

i dun feel happy. dunno y.. things just seemed plain and stagnant all of a sudden. i hate working, i hate everything. the happiness protrait may not be as realistic as it is. but very sad to say, that is a route of the human race and still have to follow.

2009-03-30T15:20:00.000+08:00

Well, days have been bored in the office. i'm left with nth to do again.. been sitting ard to pass time. starring @ the screen thinking of what to read via the net.. any idea, anybody?

it's jus sarky, how i wish now i'm @ hm resting and watching tv. really very sian. cum my head is aching like hell.. i just feel sick. damn.

wedding coming alrdy. it's kinda fast though. hmmm..

i'm really sleepy. and now it's only 3.19.. how i wish 6 will just zap past in a few winks.. ARGH!!!.. i gonna die of fatigue soon.

2009-03-27T16:07:00.003+08:00

2009-03-19T19:37:00.002+08:00

here comes gill~~~ :D

2009-03-18T17:42:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx - try it. pretty accurate.

2009-03-18T12:07:00.000+08:00

well well. today is wednesday le. tomorrow is thursday~~~ and i'm having leave for medical appt. hmmm carn wait for thurs to come... and of cuz the med appt. i wanna see if my "gill" is fine.. LOL.

hmmmm, next week my bd cuming le.. but no where and no place to celebrate. carn drink carn do anything. even if i'm gonna hold a chalet... it'll be kinda late and jus imagine.. no liquor no fun. ;p;p;p so maybe jus forgo it lor.. but 21st bd wor.. can watch RA flim liao.. like SAW! :D

today in office quite relac.. not like past few days rather busy.. most of the things I ahve sumwht completed le.. ltr in the afternoon do resource planning, and afterwhich probably just slack ard till off work. feel like eating the bbq fish again.

I miss my dear.

2009-03-03T10:25:00.000+08:00

hmm.. long time no update le.. time files, now march ler. well... in one month's time i gonna get married.. so fast right.. hmmm..... still haven gotten ready those stupid invites.. really trobulesome..

but nvrtheless, things still gotta be done..
as usual, am wrking now.. kinda sarky,, feeling lethargic all over.. i jus hope right now i'm still on the bed sleeping!!!! i really enjoyed staying @ hm.. wrking sark esp here.. doing nth most of the time.

well well.. anybody can rec me sum super high pay cum will keep me busy de job cum part time? really really bored in ncs ler.. no motivation @ all..
later goin meeting @ moe. hope time will pass quickly and i can go home early too...

i miss my dear too.. though sumtimes we do have sum tiffs here and there.. but i know and can see that he does care for me.. i'm sorry. sumtimes i'm really irritating. hope u can forgive me.. but of cuz.. u r annoying @ times too.. ;p

well think i'll stop here le.. nth much to blog abt too... tc peeps.

2009-02-08T15:35:00.002+08:00

Quote of the day:
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shits. !

extracted from yy's bloggie.

it's kinda well said.. hmmm.. i dunnoe wat's wrong with alot of things nowadays.. it kinda changes here and there... very sad to say beautiful things wun always be there for u... i dunnoe wat will be in the future.. i'm afraid to go think of it too.. jus hope things go well and good. i jus wish to cont. slping and nvr wake up...

2009-02-05T10:41:00.000+08:00

in office now.. very bored. nth to do @ all. damn~!! everyday jus seemed like holiday.. not much work.. sounds cool and good right.. but~~~~~ time passes very slowly. evryday jus make me feel reluctant to come to work. sarky.

felt slpy oso.. heng gonna afternoon liao.. but nevertheless.. today is thurs. tml will be fri le.. looking forward to weekends.. (:(:(:

2009-02-04T11:40:00.001+08:00

dunnoe y nowadays i seem to be rather down.. those intial happy thoughts were gone... now only came stress and anxiety. i didn't know he was stressed.. this make me upset. things were slightly different. he said words that he had never said b4.. and he claimed he was stressed.. it seems like the whole thing was never merry/happy for him. and still i was upset. all along i tot it was a joyous occasion, a blissful thing. but i think i am wrong. :'( if i knew all these things would turn out this way.. perhaps, i would rather choose another way out.

now i understand y pple say marriage is stepping into a graveyard. i guess there will be more to come.

To LP: i'm rather apologetic for my nasty attitude sometimes. but it seems like things turn out to be nt as happy as initially. regardlessly, i love u.

2009-02-02T11:20:00.001+08:00

yea.. i gonna get married soon. dun u think it's cool... think my wedding will be held in the mid april. march will go file for marriage.. then will get our wedding shots done up fast.. most prob will hold the wedding @ warren country club. well.. hope everything faster come.. hehehe.. exicted. i love u dear. u r the best.

2009-01-21T11:35:00.001+08:00

Today has been a boring day again.. though debbie has discussed with jerry about my job scope.. however, I still got nothing much to do.. do as in practically DO!!!! Very sian u know.. I’m more on hands on.. repeatedly reading of material is jus not my cuppa tea. U know.. bore to death.

Think dear dear is sleeping right now.. he’s sucha piggy. pig pig pig ;p haha.. boring lor really, chatting with brenda on msn right now.. and of cuz blogging as well.. now I realized.. internet.. nth much to surf.. esp when u r in an open office concept, wher pple can walk ard and see wat u doing.. cum I’m back facing the passage way. No idea when will pple jus jump up behind me and peek wat’s going on…

Now only 11 plus.. still have to endure till evening. Pretty long you know.. argh.. hope lunch faster come and time faster pass.. and then can go home again. Anyway, am looking forward to the coming weekend, cuz it’s the only period I can spent my time with my precious piggy. Simply love him lots.

Well well, think I’ll jus stop here.. cya peeps.

2009-01-18T19:46:00.003+08:00

today is kinda a bad day,,, quarreled with lp again. was heart broken all way.. was controlling my tears all the way. think i was rather stubborn too.. oso dunno.. guess i really love him lots, been kinda too deep into ths r/s.. but nevertheless, i jus wish we can always be tgt. thus.... maybe there wun be much conflict... but.. not possible though. probably. i shd learn to take things @ my own stride and to adjust my emotions accordingly.

i shd be satisfied with wat i'm having right now and shdn't ask for more.. cuz sumtimes it might be too appalling for pple too..

he has his things to do oso.. he carn be there for me 24/7... i shd learn to be independent too.. like wat ah soon say b4, dun trust or rely on pple too much... only rely on oneself. probably is true.. maybe i'm sumone whu really cannot afford to have r/s. :'(

ps: i promise i wun be sad for u le. i will learn to be an individualist.

2009-01-16T11:40:00.000+08:00

so bored now,, oso dunnoe do wat... one whole day in office do nth... wth. i felt slpy too.. woke up @ 6am in the morning lor.. damn. hmm... miss dear dear alot.. when i see him, i will feel happy.. w/o him, everthing will seem bland.. well..
hope time pass faster.. i wanna go hm. damn.

2009-01-14T16:37:00.001+08:00

I MISS my baby dear dear...

dear dear sorry. nowadays i'm rather petty too.. hope we dun quarrel next time le and stay happy always. (: big hug

2009-01-11T18:53:00.002+08:00

bored. now @ hm dunnoe do wat.. miss bbdd. but he wrking. today carn see him again. sadded. hmmm.. doesn't matter oso.. need time to adjust alittle, i guess. wed is chris's bd.. he invited me down for his bd. probably @ club this tues.. lol. but of cuz, not forgetting peiling's chalet and jonathan bbq too.. well, HAPPY BD to u guys. (:(:(:

2009-01-06T12:57:00.002+08:00

畫心

看不穿是你失落的魂魄

猜不透是你瞳孔的顏色

一陣風一場夢愛如（是）生命般（的）莫測

你的心到底被什麼蠱惑

你的輪廓在黑夜之中淹沒

看桃花開出怎樣的結果

看著你抱著我目光似（比）月色寂寞

就讓你在別人懷裡快樂

愛著你像心跳難觸摸

畫著你畫不出你的骨骼

記著你的臉色是我等你的執著

你是我一首唱不完的歌（我的心只願為你而割捨）

nice nice song (: hmm.. went ncs to sign my letter of offer today. well, hope everything goes well and i'll be starting work next week. anywae.. i miss LS. i realized i have already put my whole heart into this rs. I hope he does too. (:

To LS: you are the only one that i kept in the deepest within. without you it's jus like the night without the moon, droomy and placid. you radiance my life with all the love and care showered, and deep down i felt them all. with sincerity & trust, i pray that i can walk my life together with u till the end. love u my dearest.

2009-01-04T01:59:00.003+08:00

LP in JP's swensen. ;p

so bored so bored so bored.~~~~ pig pig in camp left me alone outside dunnoe doing wat.. today is literally a very boring day. reached hm @ 7 plus in the morning and till around 12 plus afternoon, i was talking to pig pig and playing those mobile java games.. after which fell aslp... woke up @ 6 plus(evening).. was planning to go out but ah shun tired.. cuz she slept only for 3 hrs ytd.. then bei called me saying that she's @ marina but so so far.. meeting joanne but end up cancelled oso... cuz pig pig say late liao, better to stay hm..

hmmm.. cny gonna come ler.. till nw i'm still jobless. wat the.. though NCS is offering me and still preparing the salary package, but the thought of client management work scope again really freaks me.. ;( i really dunnoe wat career aspect i shd go into... but nevertheles.. i hope to really excel in sth, get my stupid pending car licence quick and buy a car.. of cuz.. get married in 2 years' time... LOL. pig pig..!!! he better have the capabilities to afford my dream wedding. ;p

2008-12-30T14:29:00.006+08:00

Group foto

photographer max ; en and ci

before ; after

bliss garden @ expo ; interior of ballrm

fam photo ; brothers for kenneth

Han Quan & Enci ; Han Quan

Sisters for enci ; Ah shun shy~

Enci

Bridegroom & Bride ; Brothers for kenneth
...............................

wonderful and cool day after all.. congrats ENCI and KENNTH~~ happy marriage.

2008-12-25T23:17:00.002+08:00

i'm in love with lazy pig.
deeply madly truly. ;p

2008-12-16T17:51:00.004+08:00

so cute rite. lol

2008-12-12T00:47:00.003+08:00

2008-12-09T21:55:00.001+08:00

zilian~~!! (:

2008-12-08T12:55:00.002+08:00

very strange thing indeed. I was chatting with a fren and suddenly the mention of sumone. my heart immediately wrench. funny and funny, i tot i have gotten over it a long time but why i still feel uneasiness when the mention of that sumone. does that person really cause such an impact? I dunnoe and i dun wanna know. m satisfied with my current life right now. I have my LS with me and i guess it's really sufficient.

LS provides great comfort and companionship in my life, and sumhow or rather, LS seems to be infused as part of my life now. I dunnoe wat else to add on, but just pray that things will remain lydat till the end.

i'm afraid i might fall into temptations, and i will wrath and sadden over my own negligence if it ever will happen. but ya, i believe things will be fine. and i know firmly that LS is the one (:

2008-11-23T04:54:00.003+08:00

quitting smking. ;p almost 1 week nvr smoke liao.. dunnoe if i can successfully stop evrything.. pple used to say i'm a smoke machine. (: never expect i'll stop rite... cool, if can get over with it then it'll be terrific.. but still experiencing withdrawal symptoms now.. nicotine low, cum nose block.. trying to resist temptation as well though. lol. nvm. jus try my best. (:

2008-11-15T13:56:00.002+08:00

sometimes i really dunno wat i thinking abt.. really dun like, then i'm trying hard to force myself to like... really dun wan then keep force myself to go with the flow.. hais.. jus dun wanna disappoint the other party.. hmmm................................ sian.

2008-11-04T22:39:00.002+08:00

hmmm.. time flies. i was wondering, if initially i really got help the right pple nort.. they jus becum more pai kia.. jus felt that i'm alittle bit out of place for them, or perhaps i change ler? hmm.. now de me prefer normal frens.. my colleagues r great..

boring.. have to pia for my sales liao...!!!!!! (:

2008-11-04T22:00:00.002+08:00

Message: RULE 1: You opened this; you GOTTA take it.

RULE 2: You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING

unless someone messages you and asks

Q: Kissed someone on your top friends?

- I don't have any top friends.

Q: Been arrested?

- No.

Q: Been searched?

- Yes.

Q: Been suspended from school?

- No.

Q: Sat on a roof top?

- no.

Q: Broken a bone?

- yea

Q: Have shaved your head?

- Nope.
.

Q: Played a prank on someone?

- yea

Q: Shot a gun?

- nah

Q: Donated Blood?

- nah

_____________________________

LAST PERSON YOU

1 You hung out with?

- colleagues

2 Last person that you texted?

- dear

3 You were in a car with?

- bus considered? lol

4 Went to the movies with

- kelvin?

5 Went to the mall with?

- dear

6 Person you talked on the phone with?

- dear

7 Person that called you?

- dear

8 You messaged on Facebook?

- i dun play facebook liao

9 You talked to?

- ken?

10 You miss?

- my past life

11 You hugged?

- my pillow

12 You starting to hate?

- my heels and the headache

_______________________________________

W OULD YOU??

1 Eat or drink?

- both

2 Be serious or be funny?

- depending

3 Drink whole milk or skimmed milk?

- Whole milk.
.

4 Die in a fire or die getting shot?

- Getting shot.
.

5 Go to the bar or to the beach?

-Beach

____________________________________

ANSW ER TRUTHFULLY

1 Sun or moon?

- Moon.
.

2 Winter or fall?

- Winter.

3 Left or right?

- left

4 Black and white or colored?

- black

5 Where do you live?

- Choa Chu Kang.

6 Do you wanna get married?

- I WAN!

7 What is on your mind?

- When can i be a rich woman

.
8 Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?

- Twirl.

______________________________

IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU

1 Kissed someone?

- Yes.

2 Been hugged by someone?

- Yes.
.

3 Been poked by someone?

- nah

__________

1. Do you want to grow old with someone or be single?

// Grow old with someone.

2. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

// idling

3. What were you doing in last 30 minutes?

// typing

4. What was something that happened to you in 1998?

// none i think

5. If you were stranded on an island with the person you hated and without food what would you do?

// kill him and use as bait

6. When someone catches your eye, do you try to make an eye contact or avoid it?

// depending

7. What color is your comb?

// blue

8. What was the last thing you bought?

// mphosis turtle neck red top

9. How do you know when you're in love?

// well,,

10. Have you been to China?

// Yes.

11. Where do you keep your money?

// Bank.

13. Do you like peanut butter?

// Crunchy peanut butter I like.

14. Have you been to the USA?

// no

15. Last dream?

// carn rmb.

16. The thing you love about relationship?

// The bond shared

17. The thing you love about being single?

// can focus more

18. Would you give up a dream for someone you loved?

// unless i really love alot

19. Do you wanna cut your hair?

// yea very but scared regret

20. Are you over him at the age of 25?

// ??

21. Do you talk a lot?

// depends on mood

22. Best movie you've seen from the past 2 weeks?

// Eagle Eye.

23. Last thing you ate?

// long john

24. Do you believe in love at first sight?

// nah

25. Favorite ice cream?

// strawberry, choc

26. Could you date someone who has been only your friend for a long time?

// dun think so

27. Are you typically a jealous person?

// depends

28. Is there such thing as perfect relationship?

// no

29. How important is "trust"?

// Very.

30. Do you believe that love is lovelier the second time around?

// nt sure

__________

2008-11-01T12:44:00.002+08:00

ytd went geylang & bq with kiat kiat and ah hao... well, quite a relaxing tiu.. kiat kiat specially brought me out to cheer me up, cuz i told him i'm feeling sad.. ytd was the last day of october ler, and my manager asked wat's happening to my sales.. i know my sales sark, but.. i really tried my best ler.. i did spent effort into the accs i'm wrking on...

the tot of transferring to channel sales did delight me initially, but, think back, i have alrdy developed feeling with the corporate team, and i learnt to love them alrdy... and all my hard worked accs... u know that kinda feeling when u put in so much effort and @ the end of the day, everything gone to the drain.. really have a very intense impulse to cry.. too overwhelmed.

but of cuz, @ the end of the day, i dun mind goin over, jus carn bear to let go the accs that i have built with over the month and to have solution deals blah blah.. cuz' i like to work witht he engineers too... lol. on the other hand, i supposed it might be too soon to judge a 1 1/2 month sales personnel ba... first 2 weeks i still did all right, but this month sark.. kit kit oso sae, yeah, it's a bit too fast to judge.. and les said there will be ups and downs, and we will help eachother as a team along the way and eventually things will work out.. so touched can.. omg.. (: i jus simply love my "HA"s... hmmm....

and of cuz. i love เพื่อนชาย too.. ;p

2008-10-30T21:35:00.002+08:00

i realised a few days can change alot of stuffs.. things come and go, unexpectedly. i choose to let go and cherish wat's @ the present that is given to me.. wat's not urs will never be meant to be urs, so why go fret about unnecessary problems..

i'm satisfied with my current life. though stressed and busy @ times, but things are still going fine for me. now i reaslised sth, it's good to be loved rather than u go spent tons of effort building on sth which may in the end fail.. :)

jus open ur heart and look beyond things, life may be better.

[chan rak khoon, yaa yee..]
ฉันคุณยาหยี

2008-10-28T21:41:00.002+08:00

周杰伦-说好的幸福呢词:方文山曲:周杰伦

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了走了爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

2008-10-28T01:55:00.002+08:00

Goodbye - miley cyrus

I can honestly say
You've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember those simple things
I remember 'till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget
is goodbye

I woke up this morning
And played our song
And through my tears I sang along
I picked up the phone and then
Put it down
Cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember those simple things
I remember 'till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget

Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up
With your ring tone
I hesitate but answer it anyway
You sound so alone
And I'm surprised to hear you say

You remember when we kissed
you still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
You remember those simple things
We talked 'till he cried
You said that your biggest regret
The one thing you wish I'd forget
saying goodbye

Saying goodbye
Oh, Goodbye

[izit jus a song or does it hold any other meaning....
i jus wanna know, cuz it still meant sth to me..]

2008-10-25T20:56:00.003+08:00

listening to this song, it reminds me of the past.. those times were beautiful. we had fun tgt.. we had our loving past.. but those were only memories.. things wun be the same even if events were run in sequel like in the past. ha.. we can only imagine imagine and imagine upon memories... hmmm... if i have the chance i wld travel back 1 yr 8 mths ago and stayed there... though that was the most terrible period of my life yet, it's the most heart warming one.. this song "you were my everything", it was from him. he's the one hu asked me to listen to it.. it was him hu brought me all the way downwards in my life. and it was him whom was so truly precious that time... it was heart wrenching.

i missed the virtual him... he used to say i'm like his body organs.. we were so close.. our bonding was so intense that nobody gave this feeling b4.. it was so strong.. we used to be able to understand echother well, as if we can read eachother's mind.. but now, nah... probably when that love is gone, this chemistry will too be gone.

like i say. i miss him, i really do, but he's no longer in this physical world anymore.. sumtimes i can see him @ the door, i can feel him frm afar, comforting me... i can feel his existence. if this virtual image can appear once again, i wld give up my everything, even my life, to go with this virtuality existence.... how i wish the existence can be with me 24/7,,,, sounds crazy and scary ar.. but i'm jus crazy over this non living existence.. no idea why, probably i'm still living in the past ba.. no idea....

2008-10-22T22:14:00.002+08:00

You were my everything...

This goes out to someone that was
Once the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize it at the time
I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you so
I don’t really expect you to either
It’s just... I don’t even know
Just listen…

You’re the one that I want, the one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw you, I knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel

That wasn’t me; let me show you the way
I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today
I remember when I first looked into your eyes
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies

I wore a disguise 'cause I didn’t want to get hurt
But I didn’t know I made everything worse
You told me we were crazy in love
But you didn’t care when push came to shove

If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and truly

I guess you forgot about the times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Late nights, just holding you in my arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong

I really wanna show you I really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no one could else know you
You’re number one, always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart

I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you

I knew you gonna sit and play this with your new gal
And then sit and laugh as you’re holding her hand
The thought of that just shatters my heart
It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

At times we was off I was scared to show you
Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you
Without you, everything seems strange
Your name is forever planted in my brain

Damn it, I’m insane,
Take away the pain
Take away the hurt
Baby, we can make it work

What about when you
Looked into my eyes
Told me you loved me
As you would hugged me

I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly, my love is not blind

I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you

I just wish everything could have turned out differently
I had a special feeling about you
I thought maybe you did too
You would understand, but…
No matter what, you’ll always be in my heart
You’ll always be my baby

Our first day, it seemed so magical
I remember all the time that I had with you
Remember when you first came to my house?
You looked like an angel wearing that blouse

We hit it off, I knew it was real
But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel
Reach in your heart, I know I’m still there
I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care

Remember the times? Remember when we kissed?
I didn’t think you would ever do me like this
I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed
I thought you’d be there for me, this I confess

You said you were my best friend, was that a lie?
Now I’m nothing to you, you’re with another gal
I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying
Now on the inside it feels like I’m dying

I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you

And I do miss you
I just thought we were meant to be
I guess now, we’ll never know
The only thing I want is for you to be happy
Whether it be with me, or without me
I just want you to be happy

2008-10-21T22:04:00.002+08:00

felt like blogging.. so i blogged. but dunnoe wat to blog. having a terrible headache.. dun feel well today, was out whole day then 4 plus back to office. sian. my sales sark.

gonna go slp le.. life's bored. i miss him.

anywae wun be @ west side anymore.. sth is wrong...

tc peeps.

2008-10-19T16:51:00.002+08:00

i uds sth now. in order to protect oneself, u have to be brutal enuff.. i wanna change evrything.. from head to toe. everything. being nice doesn't necessary bring good ending. but being the bad one doesn't mean u wun have a good ending eventually... life is cruel; so does love.

2008-10-14T20:54:00.001+08:00

zilian.
office look.. cool hur

spotted this car outside maritus mandarin hotel.. cool ar.

my two adorable colleagues! ;D

well well.. long time didn't blog liao.. anyway past weeks happen many unpleasant thingys.. but hope rainbow will appear after a storm bah..

have nth much in mind to blog oso.. things r still goin the same way, it's still lydat.. lol.

hmm.. na gonna divorce with his wife liao.. cuz realise that nigel is not his.. poor thing.. cuz of this then got conflict with family.. i supposed he didn't go home for many many days liao.. well he used to be sumone so so so so so precious.. till now, even we parted for one year plus le, i still carn resist treating him good despite wat he has done in the past.. he jus left a very huge impact in my life.. haah.. but regardless of wat, i hope things will be goin smoothly for him. and i'm glad that he actually will still seek me and tell me wat's goin on ect..

went mansion the night before. drank quite alot.. but was fun. the funny thing was we left bq ard 3 plus, then i reached hm ard 4 plus.. know y cuz kelvin took the wrong route go one big round.. haha.. i love the companion of sis bros and frens.

toking abt bro.. those close to us shd be aware of wat's happening.. felt very sad, tears were brimming my eyes when i learnt abt the news.. felt that it's so unfair and suay.. jus hope everything will be ok for him and that the further test results will be positive and appealing.
no matter wat, we will always be here for u. (:
kor, jia you~!

i think i shd end here le bah.. nth to blog liao. tc peeps.

2008-10-14T20:19:00.003+08:00

都是我的错 - 刘嘉亮

不愿意看你在流泪

可我却不能在你身边安慰

多年在外想你的心情

越来越强烈

想你从前依偎在我怀里

想你生气时噘嘴的样子

想你在没有人时

曾偷偷地说着我帅

你一个女人不容易

努力赚钱还要照顾家里

你可知道此刻的我有多么心疼你

每次回到我们生活的城市

你总是用温柔和微笑来掩饰

把全部的苦都自己来背

都是我的错

请你原谅我

为了你受再多的委屈都值得

本想给你我们的未来

可代价却是两地的分离

只能够用思念互相祝福

都是我的错

请你原谅我

为了你我会更加珍惜自己

只要我们的心还在一起

岁月会有无数的奇迹

我爱你

谢谢你

nice song~! listen: http://www.imeem.com/ben2200/music/-VdgWR1S/doushiwodecuo_doushiwodecuo/

2008-10-09T22:50:00.003+08:00

hmmm... today had conversations with my manager and team leader.. was weeping in the office.. wat the.. dunnoe y i lydat.. i tot i was strong always? but probably i only put a brave front everytime, in fact i'm very weak de. ;p but cool.. @ least they knock sum sense into me.. they think i should re-proritize.. which i think it's essential too.. i must set my thoughts right. enjoyment and bgr shdn't come first. instead i shd re-look into my career path and to spend more time with my fam. they r the more impt ones. of cuz, i shdn't have too many night outs and i shd jus stay @ home read novels like motivational ones.. (:

well.. i'm fine liao.. me and gab ok ler.. nth much sparkles, cuz he didn't reveal much intention too.. so probably we will remain good frens ba.. dunnoe. (:

kk gonna slp liao. nites

2008-10-08T23:41:00.004+08:00

finally everything is over. :'(

i tot we aren't suitable.. though i still feel for him...
it's kinda stupid brooding over it when i was the one spoiling everything.
but.. sumhow or rather i thought we wun last, so maybe jus end it quick before the hurt is penetrated thru more deeply. in fact if he cares more, if he spent more time with me, if he can make me trust and love him more, if he can allow me to feel more of his sincerity.. things wun be happening this way now.

i know he put in effort ler.. but i wanna more. i wan more of his attention.. i love to be pampered. i dun wanna voice out, cuz i'm afraid things might turn sour. i dun wanna be selfish, i carn have him all by myself.. i wanna him to be himself. but.. our time tgt is really so little so little..

i was browsing thru all those msges that he sent. it was so sweet then.. so sweet.. the thought of those "memories" jus made my tears flow down uncontrollably.

his phone was off the whole day. i'm wondering wat happened to him.. jus worried. so worried. dear dear..... wher r u.... :(

life jus get more and more meaningless.. i wanna a simple life. simple frens. simple pple. simple love. simple bf. that's all i wanna.

goodbye, my love. ~~leirbag.~~